Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Forgiveness: A marriage MUST

I married young. I was 18 1/2 years old and only knew my husband for about 9 months before marrying him! Some people thought I was being stupid, rushing into a marriage like that. Almost 11 years later I guess I've proved them wrong.

Marriage has not been easy though.

In fact, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. It's the one thing that has been a daily work.

Sure, I'm madly in love with my husband, but...

He annoys me.
He has habits that get on my nerves.
He makes decisions that I don't always like.
He pushes my buttons.

He's human!

OF COURSE, he's going to have some undesirable quirks.

He lives with someone who has the...

tendency to be bossy.
Sometimes be grumpy.
Overly emotional.
Habits that get on his nerves.
Struggles with being a submissive wife.
Pushes his buttons.

She's human!

Thanks to Adam and Eve, we're humans who sin. That sin nature is what makes marriages a struggle.

The biggest help to any marriage is to keep forgiveness at the center of it. Without forgiveness, you'll not have a lasting marriage.

I'm not talking about forgiving someone who hits you, but I'm talking about marriages who have two people who are focused on God, but struggle due to sin.

Forgiveness allows us to move forward. Without it, we're stuck in the past. Due to our sin nature, mistakes will be made. Some minor, some major. It's at those moments, though, that your marriage vows are really tested. God intended marriage to be between one man and one wife, for a lifetime. Until death do us part. The growing trend in America is to simply file for a divorce and marry a new spouse. I know that some cases for divorce aren't that simple, but there seems to be a lot of people in my generation (mid 20's-mid 30's) who divorce only after a couple years of marriage!

I get it, I really do! Marriage is tough! The first 8 or so years of my marriage was TOUGH! Lots of bad, bad mistakes were made- on both parts. Decisions that we are still paying a price for years later. There were even a couple times that I strongly considered leaving.

Why I didn't leave.
I made vows to God and my husband that I didn't intend on breaking. No matter what. Those vows are more than just spoken words, they are promises meant to be kept. I knew that my marriage was worth fighting for, but it was definitely a challenge. There were nights I went to bed crying, not feeling a connection to my husband. Many desperate cries out to God to help us work through this. Tears fell as we clung to each other- both not sure what to do or how to make it work, but both wanting it to! Counseling sessions with our pastor and wife (we were in-between churches). All I know is that in the end, God healed and glued the pieces back together.

The journey is tough, but it is worth it.

My husband is my best friend. When I'm wrapped in his arms, I feel so incredibly safe. I would never have this relationship with him if I didn't forgive, forget, move on. If I held on to every wrong doing, if I allowed myself to be convinced that he purposely hurt me, if I didn't try.

Every marriage needs forgiveness...

Are you able to forgive and move on in your marriage, or do you hold grudges and refuse to grow closer to your spouse?



Tara said...

Hi Erika, You visted me at Hope for the Difficult Child recently and I wanted to visit you as well. I'm so glad I did! I sense a real "kindred" spirit in our homeschooling methods. I really enjoyed reading your posts on CM~we just started using her methods this year and I will NEVER go back!

Thanks for a very encouraging post on marriage. I am your newest follower.

Mrs. Laborn said...

Very encouraging! LOVE that you are"slowly natural" im your newest follower! You can follow back at:

Ali the CIA shopper said...

I just found your blog and I feel like I am reading all about me! I am so glad I found this...hope the baby naps long enough for me to read more!


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