Sunday, April 22, 2012

Modesty, for us....

If you've been following me either on my blog or my facebook page, you'll know that modesty has been a topic of conversation. A lot. I've felt like God has been working on my heart, giving me a deeper understanding on what modesty should be. For my family.

I know it's from God, because He's been working on my husband's heart, too.

My hubby and I have three beautiful daughters (and a wonderful son)!

The older they get, the more my heart is burdened for young girls. The more my desire is for them to grow up as modest, respectable young ladies.

Something else has happened in my heart though... There's an even greater desire to embrace how God created us! Today, boys want to be girls. Girls want to be boys. Boys "claim" to be girls and vice versa. I think it's time that we take a stand and embrace how God created us! Man. Female. Boy. Girl.

Now, before anyone takes offense, remember I'm only talking about me and my family. You've got to do what you feel God wants for you and yours!

The more that I think and pray about it, the more I feel it's important for a girl to look like a girl. And no, I'm not saying that you can't look like a girl in pants, I just feel that you can look more like a girl in a skirt. And yes, I realize that sometimes pants are more modest than a skirt. Especially if the skirt is tight or short.

I've really had to examine my heart and after much talking to my husband, we've came to the conclusion that the girls and I should wear skirts more. We're not saying that we'll wear skirts/dresses 100% of the time, though I feel that it will be more often than not. We're simply saying that for our family we want to look/dress like a girl and we can do that by dressing in skirts/dresses.

Just saying.

Shirt & skirt- Walmart

I'm wearing a jean skirt I've had for years and a shirt from Walmart. Aspen's (the youngest) skirt was one that use to be a dress, but I converted it to a skirt when it got too short!

Got this skirt for $3 at the consignment shop!

I think the skirt is from Lane Bryant and the shirt is from Catos. My favorite little guy wanted to join me in this picture! We're ready for church!

Now, I know modesty varies from people to people. I'm aware that some of you will look at the first picture of my daughters and consider it not modest because they are wearing sleeveless. A few of you will not understand this whole skirt topic and think I'm extreme. I'm okay with that! It's not about you, your mom, or your best friend. It's about me and my family.

My husband provided me with the following verses one day- out of the blue. He said he had been thinking about our modesty conversations lately and well, he being the wonderful preacher he is, provided me with a mini-sermon! You'll notice they all start with the letter "A", too! LOL All verses are KJV.

What are the areas of separation that I should apply in my life?

The first is our affections.
"If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:1-2

The second is our appearance.
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." 1 Timothy 2:9-10

"Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" 1 Corinthians 11:14

"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so [are] abomination unto the LORD thy God." Deuteronomy 22:5

You can see in the above verses that women should dress in modest apparel and that it shouldn't be her hair, gold, pearls, or costly array that sets her apart. Instead it should be her good works. The Bible is very clear throughout that women should look like women and men should look like men.

The third is our appetites.
"For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness." 1 Timothy 6:10-11

"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

"Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. James 4:2-3

The best way to curb an appetite is to push away from the table. The best way to curb my appetite for the world is to push it away. The farther that we get from the world, the less appetizing it becomes.

The last is our actions.
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." Colossians 3:17

"And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing." 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

You'll notice that nowhere above does it lay out specifics. It does point out that your affections should be on things above, and that you should look like you were created, and that you should give thanks in everything you do!

Ultimately, we prefer skirts to come down to the knee and as we buy new items of clothing we'll make sure that it does, meanwhile, we wear what we've been blessed with- even if the skirt isn't quite long enough, but paired with tights looks decent (to us). We aren't crazy about spaghetti straps and will strive at pairing them with a wider tank top or a shrug. It's a journey, a one step at a time walk.

And yes, you will still see us in pants. At least occasionally. At least for now.

And in case you were wondering, I'm Baptist. Skirt wearing is not preached on, nor is it part of our doctrine. Again, for us, it's more about looking like a girl than a deep rooted religious belief. It's all about being a girl!!!

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2
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The Momma said...

This Baptist girl wears skirts too. Have you read my post about my transition? For me it is about modesty and submitting to what my husband finds most attractive. It is hard being different sometimes but the benefit to my relationship with my husband has been most encouraging!
Thank you for linking up to The Straightened Path. It is always refreshing to find another family living out the convictions the Lord has shown them!!

Stephanie said...

Thank you for sharing your families views on modesty! I appreciate your honesty and ownership!

Katie said...

I have been on a similar journey myself and have chosen to wear skirts a lot MORE. Thank you for sharing your heart!

Sarah : ) said...

Just discovered your blog through the Modest Mom link up, and feel as though I've been on a similiar journey for the past couple of years. Oddly though, it came from God through our daughter who was two at the time. She preferred wearing skirts/dresses while I did not. I started to remember my own childhood and how when very little I enjoyed wearing dresses and skirts a lot more, and it made me as why I stopped and when I stopped. Those two questions drew me back to the Word of God, and to my discovering that I was rejecting what God had made me. I still wear pants, but am wearing a lot more skirts and dresses, and my daughter still prefers them. I found, that in my case, I was shaking my fist at God making me female in this area as well as others. Since then I have found not many people understand and will say we are being legalistic or think we're better than others, because they can't imagine why you'd go from hardly ever wearing them to almost always wearing them, but God and I know the reasons. Thank you for the encouragement, we are Baptist, too, and it's definitely not a Baptist thing, lol. Praying God be your strength and encouragement as you seek to glorify Him more and more in your family. Love in Christ!

sandi said...

both of our daughters where skirts most of the time. around the house when doing chores i prefer my sweats or jeans, but when we are in public skirts are my chothing choice also. we do wear pants also, but i just think skirts are more comfortable. you can dress them up for church or put on a simple t-shirt and flip flops for a trip to the zoo. when they wear shorts we prefer to the knee ones which are sometimes hard to find.

i think it is funny that i have been asked when we are out if i homeschool (we do not but they do attend a christian school that has a uniform) simply because of the way we are dressed.

our oldest child is a boy who is nine. it is getting harder to protect his heart and mind the older he gets and the way girls dress in public... especially our neighborhood pool.

thanks for sharing your views. they are similar to ours and it is refreshing to see others going through that journey.

Lisa said...

Hi Erika,
Just stopping by from the Modest Mom link up. I must tell you that this post is near and dear to my heart. You can read my recent blog post concerning my journey to wearing skirts. It took awhile, but the Lord spoke to me in a very real way about what I was wearing. I am so thankful for His working in my life. :) I will be doing a post about modesty very soon, Lord willing. Anyway, I am your newest follower and would love for you to stop by and follow me back. And I look forward to getting to know you better. :)
Many Blessings,

Angie @ Sunny Patch said...

Independent fundamental baptist here, and all skirts and dresses. I sometimes do cape dresses too. I make a lot of ours, and even sell a few. I make culottes for my stepdaughter as well for sports and school (public), so she can romp around during PE and recess and still keep modest.

I'm glad to see more posts out on the web on modesty--the world sure seems to lack it, and with having 2 boys and a girl to guard, the more modesty the better!

Heather's Blog-o-rama said...

Thanks for addressing this topic :) :) I think it's possible to dress beautifully and still be modest at the same time. My big thing is to always ask "Who am I dressing for and why?" Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather :) :) :)

Nicole said...

I seem to be in a similar boat to you! Recently I feel the Lord leading me in my style and choice of clothing. Though never particularly immodest, my clothing choices have not been the best. I LOVE how I feel in a skirt- so beautiful and feminine. I feel led to wear more skirts and look like a woman! Again, the budget doesn't always agree- so I am picking up things here and there. I did an overhaul on my wardrobe not too long ago that I posted about, and just yesterday I picked up a cute knee length skirt at Wal-Mart. Love it! Thank you for your thoughts on this matter.

Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker

Angie Abella said...

Hey, you can do it, even on a budget!! If you have pants/jeans/etc, you can make them into skirts (search jeans into skirts or something like that for tutes on it), or make simple skirts that are basically a tube with elastic and a hem...for pennies. Also check thrift shops for skirts, or if you can do minor altering, alter some that aren't quite the right size, and you have a whole new wardrobe! :)

Michelle @ Changed By The Maker said...

Hi Erika,

Well said! It's great to be on a journey with the Lord, isn't it? I appreciated your expression of these views as belonging to you and your husband, in your walk with the Lord.

I see myself now, after following the Lord 20 years, and I think I've been amazingly revamped over the years. Still, being a homeschooler, I'm sure there are some who still find me a bit liberal in my views. No matter. I know from where the Lord has brought me.

Gentle posts like this one are sometimes the thing God will use to move someone closer to him.

Thanks for linking at Make Life Meaningful Monday!

Erica {let why lead} said...

I love skirts too and am one who actually thinks they're often more comfortable than pants! This post made me want to go out and buy some more every-day skirts. (I have a handful of church skirts, but wearing them on the weekdays would be nice.)

I do think that how you dress affects how you feel and think about yourself, so if you feel moved to do this, I think it is a wonderful choice for you and your family. Good luck!

Traci Michele said...

wonderful post and I love your points!

Come check out my list of 100 Smoothies! Comment if you'd like on which one is you favorite!

Love, Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

momto8 said...

you guys look great!!

Cara Hembd said...

Praise the Lord for your humble heart. I remember my transition and I kicked and screamed my way into skirts and vexed my poor husband in the process. Looking back though there are some things I now know. 1. in this world where the lines between male and female are being blurred I know that to be salt as God has commanded, dressing feminine is an easy way to do that. I cant count the number of times people have come up to me and said "You must be Christian" That speaks for how the feminine dress represents our Lord. A verse to take a look at and study in your journey would be Isa 47:2. After transitioning to skirts a few months later we started looking for guidance for the length of the skirt. We base our current views on this verse (not apply this in the same way, so that is completely for your own family to pray about). Our view is that God is greatly shaming this woman and to shame her he is making bare here thigh (hip to knee) and her leg (knee to ankle). I still remember all the comments I got from my family about all that I couldn't do when I switched to skirts, well guess what there isn't really anything you can't do other than hand upside down from the monkey bars and amazingly enough even though I wouldn't attempt it, my daughter has figured out how to do even that modestly.

Anonymous said...

I like this. I am working on changing to skirts and my 2 year old daughter. My boys are 8, 12, 13 so I'm okay there. My oldest daughter is 16 and boy she doesn't want to change now. Any suggestions anyone?

Erika said...

Have you openly talked to your 16 year old about WHY you wish for her to change? What about taking her clothes shopping (even if it's at a resale shop) and make it a date- just you and her?

What Joy Is Mine said...

Erika, your candidness is so appreciated. My modesty trek has moved me to wear more skirts and dresses as well. And my daughter is understanding more as I try to model for her what I believe modesty looks like from a biblical view. Thank you for sharing your family's journey and for sharing at What Joy Is Mine. I love that you link up. :o)

Kasey @ TFOMplus2 said...

You look beautiful! And you shared your heart with grace! Thank you!!


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