Name/Marital Status: Bethany McGowan/Married
Tell us about your children- their names/ages, personalities, etc:
David-14:He is my quite withdrawn child. He is afraid of failure and has difficulty putting himself "out there" to try new things if he thinks he may fail. He does love sports and has been trying a lot of new ones here in the past year and that has helped his confidence a lot. He has a very keen sense of money and loves to save. At times I worry he may be more focused on how much he can accumulat vs what he can accomplish with his money. He loves to cook and has taken a keen interest in decorating cakes as of late. He has a very open friendly personality but is very reluctant to trust others until they prove themselves to him. Once that trust is gained he is loyal to a fault.
Elizabeth-7: She is our open vibrant creative child. She is very open and trusting of others and has never met a stranger. she loves color and flair. She loves whole heartedly and in turn she also hurts very easily. She is also my trying child. Very headstrong and determined things will be her way or the highway. On top of all this stubborness is an extremely high intelligence level. She intellectually understands far beyond her years but emotionally she doesn't "get it". This makes for a very frusterated child at times.
How would you describe your parenting style?
Our childrens biological father is not my husband. From 2009-2011 their biological father hid them from us so we are working through a lot of fear and trust issues. To counteract this we have adopted a very hands on Parenting style. we are involved in everything our children participate in.
What advice do you have for a new mom or a mom-to-be?
Have faith and accept that God has your child(ren) no matter what happens. Accept that you can't protect your children 24hrs a day all their life you have to trust God with them. Accept now you will make mistakes, as long as you are willing to acknowledge and learn from said mistakes, you and your child will survive them and at least one of you will learn from them. The sooner you accept these fact of parenthood the happier mom you will be.
How do you/will you handle a disobedient child?
It depends on the situation. In cases of immediate safety(ie...running into traffic) I use swift decisive action such as swatting on the bum. Since we don't spank this gets immediate attention. In normal circumstances we use deprivation of toys, outings ect. up to manual labor if the previous methods failed to curb the behaviour. For our daughter her labor is picking up sticks in the yard. it not only deprives her of attention but it also gives her time to think about the behaviour that earned her the punishment. After the punishment is finished we talk to her about what she was doing and have her explain to us what she did and what her actions earned her. Our son is old enough to understand and pick his punishment. We give him a choice of three punishments ranging from cleaning the barn, cleaning the chicken coop, things like that. He chooses the punishment with the understanding that while said punishment is being carried out he loses all electronics. He also determines how long the punishment lasts. Once he took a whole week to clean out one barn stall.......he was testing us to see if we would make him finish and if we would stick to the no electronics rule while the punishment was ongoing. He has never tried that again....LOL
We have found that giving our children these types of punishments gives them time to think and it also gives them a sense of accomplishment. We always give our children the chance to voice their opinions because the deserve to be heard however they also know that while we value their opinion it is our home and our rules will be followed.
How do you let your child(ren) know that you love them? We tell them often and we also let them know by being consistent in our rules and by setting boundaries for them.
Share some funny things that have happened to you as a parent?
My son used to think chorus to the song "Peace like a River" said "I got to pee like a river". He would sing that to the top of his lungs in church when he was about 3.
My daughter picks up on everything. I used to say "you got issues" when my kids or anyone did something kinda air brainish. One day at preschool a little 4 year old boy got his head stuck between the railing of a play house. My daughter was there with the teacher and I was told when she saw him she looked at the teacher put her little hand on her hip shook her head and said "I hope stupididty isn't catching cause he has issues". The teacher thought it was hilarious. I couldn't believe my 3 year old had said this and from that day on watched extra close to everything i said even in passing.
If you have school-aged children, what type of schooling are they doing? How do you help them? Public School. We do homework the moment they get home. I try to talk to the teachers at least once a month on a one-on-one basis. I volunteer as a room mom and I try to get to know the other parents of my kids classmates. the older David gets the harder this is to keep up on as he is at the age that Parents are embarrassing...LOL
How do you want your children to remember you?
I want them to remember me as a praying mom who never gave up on them.
What area do you struggle in as a parent? How have you learned from it?
Discipline. I was raised in a spanking home and it never worked for me It just made me more sneaky about what I did to make sure I didn't get caught. Since it was all I knew it was hard to try anything new and at times it would be so much easier to spank than to follow through with what we have already started. Having my children do a deprivation/labor style punishment at times seems like we are punishing ourselves along with them,but I have learned a lot about the way my children think and process their environment. Allowing my children to voice their opinions has also taught me a lot about how they see me as their Mom.
Favorite parenting book(s), website(s), etc: I honestly don't follow Parenting Websites to much and I don't remember the last Parenting book I read. I can tell you though that I have watched Toddlers in Tiara's a couple of times along with Kate + 8 and I learned real quick what NOT to do")